Chapter 4 -Are You Seriously Going to Wear That???

Do you remember when I talked about how I dressed growing up? Baggy jeans and extra large t-shirts….That’s how I dealt with my physical insecurities. I hid my body behind the baggy clothes. When in all reality, I was looking fatter than if I wore clothes that fit me. I believe that the way we dress reveals a lot about how we feel about ourselves.

I worked with a youth group where there was a beautiful girl that was quite the opposite in her dress style than I was at her age. She was GORGEOUS! I mean, I was a bit jealous of her. She looked like Barbie with the body and all. I remember the first time I saw her, I thought to myself, that girl is so pretty, long beautiful blond hair, perfect features, and the cute clothes. Although she was pretty, she was lacking something. She thought I wouldn’t notice, but when a 14 year old girl is coming to church in a midriff tight tank top and a jean skirt that barely covered her behind, I can see right through it. Over time I found that my assumptions were right on. She had a different boyfriend every week, she was extremely disrespectful and disobedient to her parents, and could never look me in the eye. She hated herself. She was raised with a dad that spent more time at work than with her and a mom that was more interested in being her best friend than her mom. She was so aimless that it broke my heart. I tried to meet with her and talk with her, but she was so stone cold to anything that had to do with God. She was hiding behind her pretty face and body. She was going for attention from the guys by flaunting her body. What she didn’t know is that guys were with her only for her body. They didn’t care about her as a person; they would get what they wanted and leave her. I know she was not fulfilled. She was hurting and trying to numb the pain with guys, partying, and sex.

I am going to try and be as honest as I can. First off, I need you to understand that I’m not saying guys are all jerks. I just want to give you a little insight into the male. God created guys very visual. I remember that a 14 year old girl came up to me at youth group one night and told me about a great guy she met at a party. She told me about how this 18 year old guy, after just one week of knowing her, he really liked her. I looked at her and bluntly told her, “He just wants to touch your chest”. She argued with me so I told her to go and tell Jason about her new found love, so she went to Jason and I hear him respond with, “He just wants to touch your chest”. When I heard it I told her that Jason knows, he’s a man, and she giggled and walked away. Later she found that we weren’t lying. If you flaunt it, guys want it. Even if you don’t flaunt it, they want it. I honestly believe that we need to take responsibility of how we clothe our bodies and help our guys out. There really is no purpose for a low cut shirt, short shorts, or showing off our stomachs. All it does is scream, “Hey guys look at me! I’m a piece of meat! Come and use me and then drop me because all I have to offer you is my body!” Why would you want to scream that? Instead be the kind of woman that points our brothers to Christ. Cover yourself and be a friend to them. Give them a chance to get to know you for you, and not your body.

If you want to represent Christ in all you do, this includes the way in which you dress. It is possible to dress cute and still be modest. My little sister is the prime example of this. Jamie is 5’10”, gorgeous blue eyes, amazing smile, and an incredible personality. Jamie is also the most modest person I have ever met. At the same time she is the trendiest person I have ever met. Her style is awesome! I have never seen her wear anything above her mid-thigh or anything that shows her stomach. And yet, guess what girls? She has an amazing soon to be fiancé that is quality and loves her. She could have flaunted what the Good Lord gave her, but she chose not to! She is so beautiful from the inside and out that she doesn’t have to wear skimpy clothes to prove it.

The underlying fact is that we dress the way we feel about ourselves. It all can boil out of our insecurities. Be confident in who you are and focus on your heart and the kind of person you are. This body is going to sag, but your heart will be what people remember. Quality guys want quality girls. This includes the way you dress!